Damn, I've just spent the last couple hours reading the weblogs.com mailing list and related sites.

There is a way to have others post (maybe), it has to do with RSS and possibly XML
(and I've not learned html enough yet, sheesh)

For now, while I'm learning about this blog stuff...I've installed a (well I had my web host install)
a forum (which also needs to be customized as well), more learning curve.

more later

Below is part of an email exchange I recently had that I think
would be useful to people, so I'm putting it up here:

At 03:08 PM 6/14/2003 -0700, you wrote:

Is there a difference between victim behavior and self-pity?

[my response]
hmm, maybe not...but to me:

victim behavior is having your motives be one of getting sympathy,
having that be almost unconscious, and the underlying premise
is that no one would want you on your own merits.

so maybe self pity can be both?

I'm thinking of John Bradshaw's definition of healthy shame vs
toxic shame.

self pity could be relatively healthy, if it's some where you go
occasionally and not where you live.

off the top of my head, anyway.

good question though...made me think about it for a bit.

Hey, are you familiar with the 12 step-ish concept of naming your
addict? I see this in the sexual addiction mailing lists- no one can
tell me who the original author is- someone suggested that it was
from the big book.

My addict is _____, he does the following ____ if I let him run the show

By giving that part of your personality a name, is classice NLP
dissociation technique.
it seems to be a way to separate the sin from the sinner
(and that's a good thing)

got any idea who that originated from?
I'd like to use it, being ever mindful of giving credit where credit is due.


Thanks
David Bruce Jr
Baltimore Maryland
http://www.victimbehavior.com/paradox/

Ok it appears that I can't set this up so others can post, well maybe if I buy the upgrade?
For now, I'll keep this-
What updates have I done?
For starters the navigation links at the top of each page has grown too large, it's unwieldy.
So, I'm moving many articles to a directory called /articles
duh
I moved a few today- look at them here http://software4yourmind.com/articles/

Noteworthy is the new one I added written by the nutritional gurus I follow, Dr. Ray Hinish and Dr. Brian Sanderoff
check it out here: Cholesterol : The Heart Of The Matter Once Upon A Time, There Lived A Lab Rabbit

And I moved the article on Habits, and my one of my Mom's articles on Self Love vs Selfishness

I'm adding an entire section on self esteem, because my thesis is that victim behavior is fixed by setting healthy boundaries,
and a boundaries purpose is to defend the self-

If your self isn't worth defending...then that would suggest that you have a self esteem issue
duh
The first couple articles I wanted to put up on self esteem, the author(s) are not returning my email
So, the one I have there now, while cute, isn't really a good intro, but it is appropriate for me to use
given my Tony Robbins theme of Emotions are in your body, not your head.

That's enough for now:
the sun just came out here in Baltimore- it's been raining for most of two months and I'm going outside:~(
more later

Ok, I just found the how to section of blogger.com
now I'll be able to see what this can do:~)

I just added a couple more pages to www.software4yourmind.com/boundaries/
And the machine shop that has my car's cylnder head might be finished with it today- that means I can rebuild my car's motor
over the weekend and be mobile once again- yeah me!

And I've just finished listening to the first two Tony Robbins "Get the Edge" CDs
I had Personal Power and my doing Tony's workshops (which is what they are, really) are responsible for the vast majority
of my growth and recovery over the past 12 years.
It kinda bummed me out to be selling Personal Power from software4yourmind.com/tonyrobbins/ and find out that I can't get it
anymore. So I'll sell Get the Edge- it is better in some ways than personal power- it's more condensed for one thing.
more later

I just tried to set up a mailing list so people could join and post questions and just share experience, strength and hope AND ask for advise AND not get slammed for cross talk...well it's too complicated for me right now. My webhost (which is very good btw) uses the ezmlm script and the config is more than I care to tackle at the moment.

As I type this I'm uploading the phpbbs script so we can have a bulletin board/ forum/ message board.

This is to set up an interactive place for people who want to recover from repetitive victim behavior to do just what I said above.

I've not yet learned all there is to learn about html, or cgi...this will be my first php install

we'll soon see:~)

more later

Notes to self:

I'm supposed to be trading articles with www.thehappyguy.com
remember to upload his very cool, short article on self esteem...
hmm, maybe I did already, wasn't he suppposed to look at it and give the final yea or nea?

remember to upload Dr Townsends excerpts to his boundary book
that's good stuff

more later

My Mom just left for the airport, it was very cool to have my kids and her and my Dad be together for Amanda's high school graduation:~)
About this blog...I'm beginning to think I should add a message board to www.software4yourmind.com since I want others to be able to post here. Not sure, I think there are blogs that let other people post, but maybe not.
For now, this is more like an announcement mailing list, where I'm the only one that can post?
When I do install a message board script, I will make it so I have to approve or deny posts to keep spam posts or flame posts or
assholes from posting frivolous stuff there.
Damn, I need a blog that has spell check, I'll bet there is one out there somewhere
will have to copy n paste into Word and paste it back here, cause I don't spell worth a damn

hmm, how do I set this up so others can post?
Lots of reading to do, and little time to invest right now.
more later:!)

As you can see I'm playing with this template, and learning about blogging...slowly.
Tomorrow my second oldest daughter is having her high school graduation- my oldest daughter just graduated from Towson U a couple weeks ago.