Friday, December 26, 2008

Temper tantrum

We have a dog, the dog is kind of neurotic...

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For two years he was the baby of the household. Now he's not. I have a grandbaby (I'm the live in baby sitter), the dog's behavior has changed in way that illustrates non functional boundaries like no other metaphor I can think of.

I've not posted to this blog as often as I used to because my professional life as a Search Engine Copy writer has taken off. The holidays added to my lack of time to devote to this series of blogs I author.

I just had to post this because it's so difficult to describe what bad boundaries are both to someone who has them and even more difficult for people with good boundaries to fathom.

For starters, there isn't such a thing as *bad* boundaries, it's not a cut n dry thing. Just like an gasoline powered engine's spark plug gap is not X amount or it wont work. A spark plug gap is between a given range, closer to too wide and the spark weakens, too close together and the spark is too hot.

A car can run as long as the gap is "within specs".

The dog... I'm digressing.

OK, the dog is NOT jealous of the newborn in the house. The dog is not aggressive, nor is it vindictive, the dog loves the baby, the dog seems to instinctively know that the baby is family.

The dog patiently allows the baby to smack him, pull his ears, the dog is very delicate in it's dealings with the baby (had to get that out of the way)

When I walk the dog however... well, the dog is more "needy" than he used to be.

The dog (my daughters family doesn't want names, not even the dogs name, so in this blog his name is "the dog") behavior is extra childish.

it's as if he's saying: "I deserve special consideration due to my decreased standing in the pecking order"

He misbehaves more, he gets himself off the leash a lot more than he used to.

It's like he's saying to us: "You'd misbehave too if you lost face like me"

kinda reminds me of hearing old timers say: "You'd drink too if you had a wife like mine"

Victim behavior is what you get from less than functional boundaries.

Boundaries are where you end and another person begins.

I'm gonna have to elaborate more after I change my grand babies diaper
Merry Christmas and Happy New Year if I don't hear from you until then

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