Victim:
1. Usually has short-term problem
------Martyr:
Long-term problem
Victim:
2. Motivated to change
------Martyr:
Stuck in their problem
Victim:
3. Rights violated by others
------Martyr:
Rights violated by others
Victim:
4. Did not choose the problem
------Martyr:
Chooses to remain in problem situation
Victim:
5. Never complains
------Martyr:
Complains all the time
Victim:
6. Lacks insight into problem
------Martyr::
Frequently has insight into the problem
Victim:
7. Unknowingly plays an active part in the problem
------Martyr:
Frequently knowingly plays an active part in the problem
Victim:
8. Doesn't often seek help
------Martyr:
Seeks help all the time
Victim:
9. Wants to ``let go'' of problem
------Martyr:
``Holds on to'' the problem
Victim:
10. Guilt free
------Martyr:
Guilt driven
Victim:
11. Solution oriented
------Martyr:
Problem oriented
Victim:
12. Powerless due to lack of knowledge
------Martyr:
Powerless out of a free will choice to be so
this list was from http://www.coping.org/relations/martyr.htm#difference
Victim Behavior comes from Damaged Boundaries, All addicts are at their core, codependents first. You cannot be one with out being the other. See a sister blog here: Codependent Boundaries
Friday, August 11, 2006
Thursday, August 10, 2006
Rational Mind limitations
From the study of N.L.P. (Neuro Lingustic Programing), which is the study of subjective experience, we know that all you can hold in your head is 7 +/- bits of information.
Nine *chunks* simultaneously that is.
John Bradshaw says that what he calls our Ego consciousness is what is being defined there.
He goes on to discuss the possibility that we are much more than an Ego.
Consciousness is much more than what Ego can handle.
Consciousness is great, it's good to have... but there is much more
there are more than just the 5 senses.
The problem with Ego consciousness is if I 'chunk' on you I'm not conscious of me.
Ego is about predictability.
With out Ego, we'd be like "Rain Man", the character Dustin Hoffman played.
We're used to the predictable rythms of the universe.
This "Ego Structure" is our predictability structure.
What if the sun didn't come up for 2 weeks...
we'd start getting scared... "this is wierd, you know the sun hasn't come up... call channel 7..."
Codependents get stuck in ego predictability:
"She's been bitching and nagging at him to come home early.
She's been doing it for 16 years...
and hasn't caught on YET that it doesn't work"
more later
Nine *chunks* simultaneously that is.
John Bradshaw says that what he calls our Ego consciousness is what is being defined there.
He goes on to discuss the possibility that we are much more than an Ego.
Consciousness is much more than what Ego can handle.
Consciousness is great, it's good to have... but there is much more
there are more than just the 5 senses.
The problem with Ego consciousness is if I 'chunk' on you I'm not conscious of me.
Ego is about predictability.
With out Ego, we'd be like "Rain Man", the character Dustin Hoffman played.
We're used to the predictable rythms of the universe.
This "Ego Structure" is our predictability structure.
What if the sun didn't come up for 2 weeks...
we'd start getting scared... "this is wierd, you know the sun hasn't come up... call channel 7..."
Codependents get stuck in ego predictability:
"She's been bitching and nagging at him to come home early.
She's been doing it for 16 years...
and hasn't caught on YET that it doesn't work"
more later
Tuesday, August 08, 2006
Help others, karma will help YOU
I just received from source energy (my term for God), this email:
==============================================
Hello David,
Your article, "Fasting for Your Mind" - has been accepted and added to the EzineArticles.com directory:
http://EzineArticles.com/?id=258663
You've also earned Expert Author status:
http://EzineArticles.com/?expert=David_Bruce
==============================================
I've been working on letting my larger self receive abundancefrom the universe... Results so far:
#1 out of almost 3 million sites on Google:
http://www.google.com/search?sourceid=navclient&ie=UTF-8&rls=GGLD,GGLD:2004-32,GGLD:en&q=Fasting+for+Your+Mind
#1 out of 20 million other sites on Google:
http://www.google.com/search?hl=en&q=victim+behavior&btnG=Google+Search
And on the topic of NLP, the definition of which is the
"Structure of Subjective Experience:
# 6 out of 12 million other sites on Google:
http://www.google.com/search?Hal=en&lr=&rls=GGLD%2CGGLD%3A2004-32%2CGGLD%3Aen&q=structure+of+subjective+experience&btnG=Search
And this is just the beginning!
I firmly believe that the best way for me to help myself and my family is to help as many other people as possible... and I
cant think of a better way to do that then to use the Internet
Damn, even my home business: www.cleanerscomes2you.com just got a huge linen cleaning order from one of the biggest churches in Baltimore, Mt. Pleasant Baptist Church
Who said God doesn't perform miracles?
==============================================
Hello David,
Your article, "Fasting for Your Mind" - has been accepted and added to the EzineArticles.com directory:
http://EzineArticles.com/?id=258663
You've also earned Expert Author status:
http://EzineArticles.com/?expert=David_Bruce
==============================================
I've been working on letting my larger self receive abundancefrom the universe... Results so far:
#1 out of almost 3 million sites on Google:
http://www.google.com/search?sourceid=navclient&ie=UTF-8&rls=GGLD,GGLD:2004-32,GGLD:en&q=Fasting+for+Your+Mind
#1 out of 20 million other sites on Google:
http://www.google.com/search?hl=en&q=victim+behavior&btnG=Google+Search
And on the topic of NLP, the definition of which is the
"Structure of Subjective Experience:
# 6 out of 12 million other sites on Google:
http://www.google.com/search?Hal=en&lr=&rls=GGLD%2CGGLD%3A2004-32%2CGGLD%3Aen&q=structure+of+subjective+experience&btnG=Search
And this is just the beginning!
I firmly believe that the best way for me to help myself and my family is to help as many other people as possible... and I
cant think of a better way to do that then to use the Internet
Damn, even my home business: www.cleanerscomes2you.com just got a huge linen cleaning order from one of the biggest churches in Baltimore, Mt. Pleasant Baptist Church
Who said God doesn't perform miracles?
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