Victim Behavior is the effect of a root cause.
That root cause is codependency.
Codpendency is sometimes called a disease.
It IS a disease of irresponsibility.
It comes from a sick (dysfunctionally sick) family system.
Family systems have 'trees', family trees, if one member
(branch of the tree) gets out of balance, it drags the
other branches out of balance.
One sibling plays the 'role' of black sheep, another one
will balance the tree (family) by being Over responsible.
Outsiders to the family will observe the Over responsible
family member as:
"Why can't Sally be more like her brother?"
"Why does Billy abuse drugs and Becky get straight A's in
school?
In reality (recent breakthroughs in Physics/ Meta Physics
/ Quantum Physics and ultimatley Philosophy has shed much
light on the definition of just what reality really is, but
that topic is going to require a long post unto itself)
... In reality the over responsible sibling is just as 'sick'
as the black sheep sibling.
John Bradshaw's work and Pia Melody's work form the backbone
of much of the philosophical basis for this blog.
I should probably make this post 'sticky' or place it somewhere
on the template near the top because most of what I have to say
is based on the above presupposition.
To screw up is to be irresponsible.
Our current society's attitude toward both the concept of screwing up
and the path to correct it is counterproductive.
The ONLY way to actually balance the problem and the method of
correcting the problem is counter intuitive. That is to say:
What appears to be what would seem to be to most people a
solution actually causes more of the same.
Blame and blaming is the root of irresponsible codpendent victim behavior.
What came first, the chicken or the egg?
Does it really matter?
To say that our family is the blame, may technically be acurate but counter productive, damm, I've no time to finish this post and every line I write
requires background to illustrate... that's ok, I'll fill in the blanks later.
In short, the USPS issued a contract, the contractor I worked for hired me,
I got sick, a contract is a contract, if I was too sick to complete the run,
the contractor should have scrambled find some one to fill in for me.
I communicated that, I communicated to both the Washington DC H.A.S.P and
Blue Mountain Express that I was sick...
Blue Mountain kept on assigning frieght for me to deliver after my mail runs...
To this I can say: "What part of I'm sick do you not understand?"
I could surmise that Blue Mountain Express just did not really believe that
I was sick...
In any case, at this point blame is counter productive.
If I'd have continued driving a tractor trailer under these conditions I would
have had a serious accident, maybe wrecked the truck, lost US mail all over the
highway, gotten hurt or killed, and gotten someone else hurt or killed.
So... I just got another job
more later
==========
This article is for informational purposes only.
Please contact a licensed professional in your area
if you are in crisis or require mental health services
Victim Behavior comes from Damaged Boundaries, All addicts are at their core, codependents first. You cannot be one with out being the other. See a sister blog here: Codependent Boundaries
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