Monday, June 23, 2003

quote from the message board
Verbal Abusers's are VA's because of a need to control their environment out of a fear that if they don't something bad will happen. Their sense of safety and security is locked up in this irrational belief that the envrionment is threatening UNLESS they have full control of it. Vacations are totally unpredictable in terms of what is going to happen and the VA doesn'tknow yet how he or she is going to handle the new scene that is outside of their usual routines. Because it is all about fear they can't admit it. Saying you are afraid is admiting a weakness which would in their eyes, put them in a one down position in relation to you,so they do what will make them feel stronger - get angry.

this is useful stuff

there is much to be said about victim behavior and people who let themselves become
involved with verbal abusers...

and a lot more to be said about my posting to the verbal abuse message board and having
the very people who I try to offer help to get angry at me????

see my other blog

How To Spot A Codependent

OR how to discover that you're codependent, a checklist A) codependents want chronic maladies, they want to have to "treat" ...