Wednesday, June 25, 2003

Why did he use me?

http://www.drdrew.com/Office/article.asp?id=1099

[note- I remember watching this on MTV long ago, I thought this applies to many love addicted people,
so I republished it here, and to remind me to write on this subject]

What you need to understand is that for some young males, a sexual experience is nothing more than that.

Just because this guy was intimate with you does not mean that he has true feeling for you or that he wants any sort of relationship.

Obviously, you had real feelings for him and now you are hurt and upset that he doesn't reciprocate those feelings.
You haven't done anything wrong and just because you misunderstood his intentions, it does not mean that you are a bad person.

Part of growing up is learning how to judge other people and understanding what goes into making a good relationship.

For now, I suggest that you surround yourself with the people who care about you.

Your friends and family can help you through this difficult experience

Here's our health editor Dr Garth to add his perspective on your question.
Dr. Garth:


This is a horrible experience and I know how painful it can be.

While you will probably be angry and hurt for a while, as Drew said, this is a learning experience.

I think it highlights one of the most important principles in relationships: the key element is good communication.

We can never presume to know how someone else feels or what they think. The only way to understand another person is to ask them.

While there is certainly a place for "gut instinct," I think that big decisions
(like whether or not to have sex with someone)
should be discussed openly and honestly beforehand.

http://www.drdrew.com/Office/article.asp?id=1099


more later

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