Ok, so I may not sue the USPS

hmm, looks like the USPS can fire me for being sick,
they were within thier rights and sought to get rid of me
before the 90 day probation period...

Either way it wasn't the end of the world for me, I still have
health insurance (and disability insurance), I can still find
out whats wrong/ fix it and get a better job.

I'm not a victim.

I've wasted no time in searching for a $20 hour job and I'll get
one, it's just irritating and uncomfortable, but I have big shoulders,
and my higher power has got my back.

It'll take at least a week to replace my job, I still HAVE a job, but
it's not the $19 hour/ Post Office benefits/ 10 paid holidays I
originally signed on for, the crappy Blue Mountain Express is offering
me a measley $10 to $12 an hour delivering freight/ loaded trailers the
better paid line haul drivers left in the yard, and I have to pay $65 a
week or so for health insurance.

I'll probably go to work for WB transport making $23 an hour, but AFTER
I get checked out health wise, might be Crohn's disease, might be
kidney stones, or some other gastric problem (might be colon cancer/
prostate cancer, my Dad just died from prostate cancer, might be
rectal cancer... What ever God's will is, I'll handle it.


==========
This article is for informational purposes only.
Please contact a licensed professional in your area
if you are in crisis or require mental health services

Went back to truck driving

I've not posted since Dec 8, on Dec 9 I took a job for the winter.

I drove a tractor trailer for a company that is a US Mail contractor.
I loved it, got sick, learned I have some serious gastric aliment,
have painful kidney stones that I never passed and communicated all
this to the US Postal Service.

I communicated to them that I will have medical insurance on Feb 1
and scheduled Doctor visits... I also went to the Frederick County
(Maryland) Health Department for a blood test...
I also got the flu...

The (Unjust) transportation manager for the US Post Office that
is in charge of Suburban Washington DC mail at Shady Grove Rd
in Gaithersburg Maryland fired me the day before my health insurance
kicked in...

I recently learned that Blue Mountain Express was full of shit!
The Transportation manager at the Shady Grove Suburban DC Post Office
wasn't the one that fired me... Blue Mtn Express fired me and just told
me that the Post Office did it.

BME apparently either did not believe I was sick or just didn't want to
have to deal with a driver that might have to take off for being sick.

I'm not fired from the company I work for, I'm only fired from the
USPS route that I was assigned to. My illness made me late on my route
4 times in 5 weeks and I took a day off when I was too sick to safely
drive the tractor trailer.

My old response to this adversity would be to play a victim and whine...
My new response was to:

Get a better job

look into a law suit against the USPS

call MD Dept of Transportation to report that the company I worked for
insisted that I exceed the DOT hours of service 3 times, 2 times knowing
full well I was sick.

(a CDL truck driver cannot legally drive over 60 hours a week, I did 2 74 hour
weeks and my first week was 15 consecutive days and 77 hours)

Side Bar: If it's Christmas time and you're driving on the nations highways late at night and a US Post Office Mail Contractor tractor trailer is weaving in and out of their lane... slow down and give them a wide berth!

The driver is likely too tired to be behind the wheel!!

so...
I've not posted lately
more comming soon, I've lots of new stuff to write about.

oh, yeah, the offending Mail contractor is:
Blue Mountain Express Inc.
Frederick MD

shit happens

==========
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Please contact a licensed professional in your area
if you are in crisis or require mental health services

Brain functions as high fidelity tape recorder

More from "I'm OK--You're OK

Page 11

"In summary we may conclude:
1. The brain functions as a high-fidelity tape recorder.
2. The feelings which were associated with past experiences also are recorded and are inextricably locked to those experiences
3. Persons can exist in two states at the same time. The patient knew he was on the operating table talking with (Dr.) Penfield; he equally knew he was seeing the "Seven-Up Bottling Company... and Harrison Bakery." He was dual in that he was at the same time in the experience and outside of it, observing it.

(hmm, now I'm going to have to find the passage explaining that the patient was remembering something from work, looks like he worked at a 7Up plant and or a bakery, well this IS as blog & I can edit this later when I've more time)

4. These recorded experiences and feelings associated with them are available for replay today in as vivid a form as when they happened and provide much of the data which determines the nature of today's transactions. These experiences not only can be recalled but also relived. I not only remember how I felt. I feel the same way now.

(now this explains much of why codependents react in screwy ways to stuff in the here and now, and why healthier people think we're nuts, what's in our 'flight data recorder' is erroneous, what's in the healthy persons 'flight data recorded' is relatively sane)



Adult Children of Alcoholics feel more screwy than normal people.

The Drunk can blame the pint.

The Crack Addict can blame the 8ball he smoked (eighth of an ounce of crack to the uninitiated)

The Adult Child (which I'm saying is synonymous with Codependency) is doing addictive stuff, self destructive stuff and it appears he's doing it for NO reason???


==========
This article is for informational purposes only.
Please contact a licensed professional in your area
if you are in crisis or require mental health services

Brain records the past in stereo

Once again, I'm throwing this up here for later inclusion into a comprehensive article, but if I don't put it up here now, I'll forget... well I'll remember but my facts wont be accurate:

Dr. Penfield and his probe.

This is pilfered directly from Thomas Harris' "I'm OK--You're OK" 1967

Page 4

Any hypothesis must depend for it's verification on observable evidence. Until recently there has been little evidence about how the brain functions in cognition, precisely how and which of the 12 billion cells within the brain store memory. How much memory is retained? Can it disappear? Is memory generalized or specific? Why are some memories more available for recall than others?

... During the course of brain surgery, in treating patients suffering from focal epilepsy, Penfield conducted a serise of experiments during which he touched teh temporal cortex of the brain of the patient with a weak electric current transmitted through a galvanic probe. His observations of the responses to these stimulations were accumulated over a period of several years.


damn, time to make the doughnuts again
note to self
we remember stuff in stereo
One- just like a video game, one recording is 'cockpit view' we see the world from OUR eyes, we see our wrists and elbows and the outside world.

the other is birds eye view (God's eye view????)
like Mario brothers, we see not just the outside world, but we see ourselves too.

One is like Star Trek's 'ships log', external recording of said event
the other is 'how we felt, internally, to said 'stimuli'

gotta go to work, sure wish my books sold enough for me to write full time
they will
God wills it
I will it
the Collective Conscious wills it
(who's grandiose??? what're you lookin at me for?)

==========
This article is for informational purposes only.
Please contact a licensed professional in your area
if you are in crisis or require mental health services

Treat a symptom or go for the cure?

I was just reading the posts on a codependency email list I belong to, I stay on this list both to enjoy the fruits of list members ES&H and to give back some Experience, Strength and Hope from me to the list.

I just had to throw part of an email exchange up here before I forget it:

Someone wrote:
"...Co-
Dependency is so engrained and webbed throughout our
thought processes... we/I can never change it."

My response (and this was ONLY my thoughts on this single line in their post):

I don't think so, if you tell yourself something is
hard/difficult or impervious to change... it is.

In 1953, before Roger Banister ran a mile in less
than 4 minutes, all the experts said a human runners
physical limit is that we, genetically, cannot run
a mile faster than 4 mins.

Within 3 weeks of Banister running 3.59 whatever,
3 other guys broke 4 min.

What changed?
They were all Olympic World Class athletes.
The type of training they used was similar
nothing happened training wise in those 3 weeks.

the only change was that a "glass ceiling"
This is empirical proof that Attitude can be at least
as powerful as more tangible 'training'.

There is a story Tony Robbins tells about a calculus
student who fell asleep in class, he woke up at the
sound of the bell, wrote down what he supposed was
the weekend's homework.

The following Monday he said to the prof:
"that was the hardest homework you've ever handed out"
Teach said: "what homework? You mean the theorem
on the blackboard? That's a theorem that's been
unsolved for thousands of years"

the student had solved it, why?
because no one told him he couldn't.
he assumed, that last year's class solved it.
All the prof's alumni solved it
most of his classmates were gonna solve it.

...why is it that placebos work so often?

tell yourself this codependency stuff is gonna
haunt you for life and it will.

Most doctors prescribe stuff that treats symptoms...
How many cure?

Why settle for masking our symptoms?

David Bruce Jr.
Frederick MD
http://repairmanual4selfdestructivebehavior.blogspot.com
http://victimbehavior.blogspot.com
http://endselfdestructivebehavior.com




==========
This article is for informational purposes only.
Please contact a licensed professional in your area
if you are in crisis or require mental health services

Mind over Matter- religion vs spirtuality

I have issues with organized religion.
But I do believe in a power greater than me.

see: Introduction to Quantum Mechanics

I'm not alone with this problem.

Many people in recovery have issues with A.A. and the 12 steps.

I joined a few yahoogroups email lists on addictions and recovery
issues...The groups that are anti AA are Vehemently opposed to God,
higher power and any 'power' other than their own power of reason.

In my last post I was searching for a book that changed my
philosophical life, a few years ago,
Reenchantment of the World is apparently back in print.
I excitedly threw up a quick post and blurb because I discovered
that Morris Berman lives and works near me....

In that book Berman posited the idea (this is from memory and I read
the book 27 years ago)that the world view a few hundred years ago
was very different than it is now, and that the hierarchical concept
of God being "Up there" and we are lessor beings "Down here" and
if we do "Good" we get to go "Up there" and if we do "Bad" we go
down somewhere unpleasant.

Plato did not do experiments, in fact in Plato's time anything that
could be measured was suspect to error, it was "mortal".
They called this kinda stuff "sensible"
not because it made good sense (what we use the term for nowadays)
but because it described phenomena that could be felt through the
5 senses.
A concept on the other hand was "eternal", the first shmuck who
'conjured up' a perfect sphere in his mind... that sphere, the
concept of a sphere was immutable, unchangeable, a 100 or 1000
years later no one else can dream up a sphere that is more
spherelike, the original sphere cannot lose it's spherehood, nor
can a perfect sphere be enhanced/ turbocharged/ improved and so on.
This kinda stuff was termed 'intelligible'

For this reason no one from Plato's time until Galileo ever tried
to test anything/ no measurements (In Plato's time they had no
standard foot/ meter/ second etc)

What was heavenly was considered perfect... God was up there and
we were stuck down here.

To challenge this idea was to be labeled a heretic, you could get
burned at the stake for heresy.

I'm tired now
will have to bring this post up to date w/ Newton DeCarte and
the 'billiard ball' universe later
then take it to "Star Wars" and the guy who wrote about Myth
the guy who influenced the Star Wars guy (damn I'm really tired)

will fix this later, wanted to throw it up here before I lost
my train of thought... gotta pay the bills now
it's time to make the doughnuts.


==========
This article is for informational purposes only.
Please contact a licensed professional in your area
if you are in crisis or require mental health services

DARK AGES AMERICA -- Blog for Morris Berman

DARK AGES AMERICA -- Blog for Morris Berman

This guy wrote THE book that changed my life, I read about him in the first aniversary issue of the magazine Omni, this was way back in 1979 or there about...
I'm not even sure if Omni magazine is still published.

What was neat about all of the above is that:
Star Wars (and the "Force") just came out
Right after that my Dad (who died in 2002) had just read a book
about altnerative healing from a guy who was skeptical, the author
was a stock/ investment/ Wall Street broker who as observing his
coworkers croaking from stress...

that authors influence lead my Dad to TM
and me to E.S.T
the following month both me and Dad took E.S.T.

"The Re-enchantment of the World" changed my life... permanently for the better.

Therein I learned this quote:
Maximum is not Optimum

(I didn't realize I was mildly manic-depressive for years later, the actual
diagnosis was 'hypomania')